Cadenism 12/23/09 and Sledding

Today, Caden overheard me make a phone call from home regarding a school matter. I introduced myself to the person as "This is Brian Muller, assistant principal at Northern Middle School." Later, I told Caden to call Grandma. When she answered the phone, he said "Hello this is Caden Muller from First Baptist." He pretends that he works there.

Caden started out going with me half-way down the hill and eventually went solo from the top kamikaze style. Way to go Caden!

December Snow

Please Daddy?

AdEliz......thrilled to be in the snow.

He was not coached on this one.....he came up with it on his own. I guess it is a natural kid instict.

I think she will like it better once it stops falling.

School released 3 hours early today. That was a first time experience for me in my 10 years. I was able to leave and be home by around 3:00 to enjoy Caden's excitement about the snow. Addison- not excited. She cried unless I held her....then she was fine. Becky stayed inside and take a break while Caden, Addison, and I went out and played around for a little bit.

Finally Slowing Down

The fall semester is finished, Christmas shopping is done, the Living Christmas Tree is over, it is now time to slow it down and enjoy Christmas with Becky, Caden, and Addison. This will be an exciting Christmas as we spend quality time with family and see friends that we haven't seen in a while.

I haven't been home earlier than 8:00 this week until tonight. I left school at 4:20 after a bus issue (shocker) and spent hours with Caden and Addison while Becky went to work at church. It felt great. Caden asked me if he could have chocolate milk for dinner. I said no. He said that he wished that he was a grown up and I was the little boy and he could have chocolate milk. For some reason, he always tries to get me to give him chocolate milk and not Becky.

Off topic, but I really enjoyed the weekend in Wilmington with Becky. It was really great. We went back to our roots of dating and just being the two of us. We missed the kids and talked about them sometimes because really-- they are a part of us that we just can't ignore. I am so humbled and grateful that God made me a father. I am going to post my personal committments on the next blog. I want to put some thought into it, so it could take me a while.

Back to the Basics

Becky and I did something really awesome tonight. She had a great idea to put the kids to bed and cook dinner for just the two of us. We grilled a NY strip acompanied by mashed potatoes. It was really neat to get back to just us and not having to worry about Addison throwing food to Emma or Caden explaining why he isn't going to eat something. I felt so in love with Becky and we just sat there and talked and ate. It was really that simple. It just feels good to know that we can still be in love and act like ourselves even when the kids are not right under our noses. As great as tonight was, I am even more excited about going to Wilmington with just Becky in a few weeks. Although, we wil greatly miss the children.

Not too busy for Cold Stone

It's been a while since my last entry. This part of the fall tends to be very busy with papers, projects, late nights at the university. Balance seems to be going well lately. I told Becky that I would leave around 5:00 today from work. I was able to follow through just fine there. I came home to chili and we took off to cold Stone to meet friends with several children (10 to be exact). We had a blast though. Only one injury among the 10 kids, and she turned out to be OK thank goodness.

Cadenism 11/1/09, I will Always Love You

OK- hilarious dialogue tonight as I was chatting with Caden. He was eating a cupcake and I grabbed his cute little cupcake smeared cheeks and said "You are my boy Caden". This is where it went from there:

Caden- You aren't my boy though.

Brian- (giving him a silly and mad look) What!?!?!

Caden- You are my daddy!

Brian- I'll always be your daddy Caden.

Caden- Uh huh.

Brian- I will always love you too buddy. Even if you do something bad or make a mistake, I will always love you.

Caden- And when I get in trouble and you have to spank me, I will always love you too daddy.

Do It Without Being Asked

Let me start by saying that I am by no means a perfect husband. But I try to be the best I can be and what God expects of me as a husband and father. It took me several years, but I figured out something tthe other day while I had time to think during a vacuuming session. I contribute to the household by cleaning bathrooms, cooking (sometimes), and cleaning the kitchen (all the time) and vacuuming. However, I must admit that I complain about it and for the first six and a half years of marriage, Becky has had to remind me to do it.

Recently, she has confessed that she would just like for me to do it without her asking. I heard her say it.......I am an educated adult, so I understood it.......but it really never sunk in to my thick skull. One of Becky's love languages is "acts of service". Although I am tired and don't feel like doing chores after a long work week, I know it means alot to Becky. Take a moment and do something nice for your spouse and see if it makes him/her smile. Even if they don't smile, it's OK, just be selfless today. I have made a personal conviction to get back to my old selfless personality.

Getting Home Today: I actually stayed at work until 11:00 pm last night. I got an email from my boss when I got to school and I called Becky at 7:45 am to communicate early so she wasn't blind sided later in the day. Becky was incredibly understanding and has really been a great support. The life of an administrator can be challenging on a spouse because it is especially unpredictable. Thanks Beck! I love you!

The Best Advice From Someone Wiser

I have always put a tremendous amount of value in the wisdom of those who are older than me. Becky pokes fun at me because I am drawn to "older" people and often have long conversations with them. Wisdom does not require a fancy degree or a hefty salary. Wisdom is gained through experience. I hope that my children grow to respect the wisdom and experiences of those who precede them.

My father-in-law gave me the best advice soon after he gave me permission to marry his oldest daughter. Shull (2002) asserts, "Brian, always remember that it comes down to choices. You can either be right, or you can be happy". Very simple, huh? I have lived by that advice and it really makes alot of sense. Hear my heart, it doesn't mean that you just agree with everything that your spouse says to simply appease him/her. It just requires putting your pride aside and don't get caught up in being the "right one" or the person that gets to say "I told you so". As a response to my father-in-law's aforementioned quote, a person responded "Being right is being happy". I just smirked and wished him the best of luck.

The Reason

I have done some self reflection and spent time praying about being the best husband and father I can be. I named this blog Getting Home because that is what I look forward to doing at the end of my day. I love to race home (via Air Muller in the 1999 Altima) and hear all about what happened at home that day. You see, Becky stays home with the kids. That was a dream of hers and we are fortunate to make it happen. My philosophy is to stay focused, work hard, be thorough, and allow myself to be home before dinner. I had a mentor that once advised me that I have a job to support my family, not a family to support my job. I have lived by this and I do not regret it.

The years have made me wiser. Becky and I will celebrate seven years of marriage this October. Originally, I wanted to dedicate this blog to some of the things that I have learned and post some things that I have learned over the years that have gotten me closer to the kind of husband and father that God wantes me to be. I really don't know where this blog will go. Let's see.

We have a family blog that keeps family and friends up to date on the latest with the Becky, myself, and the kids. If you feel inspired, visit Becky's Blog and you can see for yourself.

Getting Home Today: I told Becky that I would leave a 5:15 and I made sure that it happened no matter what I was doing. I was in fact very busy, but that particular work can wait until tomorrow. My three year old son (who was throwing a huge exercise ball in the house when I came in) was waiting for me. Based on his activity level and the Peanut (11 month old) crawling around while Becky was cooking, I think she was ready for me to be home too.